Cooking Conundrum

A Bowl of Yellow Dal, Half-a-plate of Jeera Pulao and a three eggs’ Cheese Omelette – The delicious thought of a perfect supper made my taste buds go dancing in the lush stream of saliva. For a beloved Indian male with a doting mother and an equally adoring wife, Kitchen is seldom visited. Not yesterday, when I sneaked in a chance of cooking my meal as the Wife informed me of working hard in office in this recessionary environment and the mother was at a decent distance of 50 kms. from the kitchen.

I immediately rubbished the idea of calling the Pizza guys as I wanted to satisfy myself that ‘I Have It in Me’. While going back home, I toyed with the idea of having a well cooked Omelette with fashionable brown breads. The idea fell flat as I had just ten rupees in the purse; having offered the rest to charity earlier in the day.

The Kitchen resembled a battleground and I, a lone anxious soldier with artillery in the sink. Cooking should not include washing dishes but this night it was not to be. I cleaned every iota of cooker’s configuration to make the most hygienic Dal of the world; struggling hard to locate the ‘whistle’ in the process – Why are small things (whistle) so important and get lost so easily? My engineering brain did a nightmarish calculation of Water Dal ratio (1 large cup of water will create enough vapors to pressure-cook 20 gms. of Dal). As I put the cooker on the three-stove burner, I decided to prepare the pulao next; before switching to my core competency of making edible omelettes. Since the lone cooker was still creating vapors, microwave seemed to be the quicker option. Shining glassware with 2 table spoons of rice sprinkled with Jeera and oodles of desi ghee was put in the microwave for a brief period of 120 seconds. CRACK – I never again saw the glassware intact although it kept rotating for a nice 20 seconds before I realized to stop the microwave. Had I put a little water along with the rice, it would have lasted long. The grains of rice have coagulated and stuck muscularly at the bottom of the bowl. I cursed myself of having wasted the staple diet in these times of food inflation and tidily put the glassware into the dustbin. By that time, I had heard shrill whistles and put the cooker off. Rice cooking had to start all over again; this time on the gas. I hunted down the tea pan and put the rice to boil; the small base of the pan delicately balanced on a rather large burner. Multi-tasking comes naturally to me which prompted me to use the third burner to make the omelette. CLUCK – The Cooker’s Lid fell to reveal partially cooked Dal; that too without any water left. The Dal has to be cooked more and I was prompt to add water, not suspecting, the ratio miscalculation, that I did again. Putting finely chopped onions, small crushed tomatoes, strands of chilly and a few coriander leaves on a hot butter soaked Tawa blinded my glasses and the smoke made me feel fighting in the Gaza strip for a split second. TUCK – The poised rice tea pan could not handle the heavy shelling and caved in. Hot water and rice grains spilt all around the burner. In an effort to reinstate the pan, the occupational hazard came real. I still have a baked palm and burnt fingers.

Adding water to the rice pan, preventing the omellete ingredients from burning, stirring the eggs, timing the Dal’s cooking time – Multi-tasking; my Foot! – was crimson with bites from mosquitoes who had exercised cunningness while I was in distress; cooking.

Partially cooked rice, syrupy Dal and mutilated, salt-less and cheese-free Omellete made for a struggling dinner, made better only by ‘Mother’s Recipe’ pickles.

SPLASH – After dinner, I flinged the dishes into the basin; after all I was not supposed to wash them anymore.

I liked my dinner though, after all who doesn’t like his own creation.

My Wife says that I should rather be writing than cooking and she is right. Over to you Dear…